A Letter to my Son {mama thoughts}

maternity session - ashley victoria photography - grace and serendipity
ashley victoria photography - maternity session

In just a few short weeks (or days at this point), I will be holding a new little miracle in my arms.  If you follow me on Instagram, you have seen photos and details as we have prepared for our soon-to-be-here little guy, and now that we have everything as ready as it can be for him, all I can think about is what it will be like once he arrives.  It is exciting, worrying, and exhilarating anticipating his arrival, and I am very curious as to when he will make his debut.

My days have been filled with planning wedding details and designing invitations, and every evening has been filled with thinking about how much life will be different after he comes.  To say that my mind is constantly churning is an understatement - it is filled with thoughts, ideas, hopes, and dreams for what's to come.  Especially after Heaven received an angel baby of ours in the fall of 2013, this pregnancy has been very different for me.  But now, more than anything else, I keep coming back to what I want him to know.  So below, I decided to write it all out.  As a way for me to remember what life was like, these last few weeks before he was here.  This little boy will complete our family, making us a family of five, and I want him to know just how very loved he already is.  I can't wait to meet him.

To Our Son,

We can't believe that you are almost here.  For the last few months, you have been steadily growing and making me very aware of your presence.  The last couple of weeks in particular, you wake me up every night at 1:00 and 4:00 in the morning, because you are either practicing your ninja kicks or plan to be quite the dancer from all of the bouncing around you are doing.  As much as I would love to be sleeping, because I know that that time is about to become extremely limited after you arrive, at the same time, I love it.  I love feeling you kick, tumble, and turn about, sometimes with gentle patters, sometimes with massive force.  I can't help but think about you all the time, and want you to know just how very loved you are.

We have prayed for you for so long.  You are joining a family that is soexcited for your arrival.  Your big brother asks about you constantly, your big sister gives you a hug and a kiss good morning and goodnight, with many little "hi baby brother" moments in between, where she waves at my belly and pats it continually throughout the day.  When she talks closely to where you are, you instantly are awake and kicking.  When she pats your current home, you instantly move.  That only tells me that the two of you already have an incredible bond, and I hope that you grow up having an incredible friendship together.

The last few days have been filled with finishing touches for your room.  And now that it is complete, I find myself going and sitting in the glider where I know you and I will be spending hours together.  My mind constantly thinks of all of the things I want for you - and the best way I know how, being the listmaker that I am, is to write them all out here for you.  I want you to have adventures.  Get dirty.  Build forts.  Use your imagination.  Pretend to be a superhero.  To not be afraid to stand up for what you know is right, and always tell the truth, no matter how hard it may be.  Experience life with joy under your feet.  Share your toys, make friends wherever you go, use your manners, say your prayers, trust that things will always work out in the end, take chances, be yourself, and just have fun!

I want you to know that you have been prayed for, and I have wanted to be your mom for as long as I can remember.  From the time I was a little girl, I have always wanted to have a son.  I have been blessed with your big brother for the last 12 of his 17 years, and now, and now, knowing that you will be here soon, you will be the final piece to our family puzzle.  God has chosen us to be your parents, has chosen you to have your two other siblings, and although He is the only one who knows His plans for you, I am so excited to be a part of the ride that will be your life, and so glad to get to call you my son.

I love you, my son, and we all can't wait to meet you.  Take as much time as you need in your cozy little home, and whenever you are ready to take on the world, we'll be ready to guide you every step of the way.

...........................................................

Photos above that mean the world to me taken by Ashley Victoria Photography